Just A Monolgue

Okay, so I was in Drama the other day and we were all told to write a monologue from someone during the Miner's Strike in around 5 minutes. I chose to do one from the old lady, because I like to write as old people, but at the same time it's hard to know what old people would've thought about the Miner's Strike since it was 25 years ago and they'd all be dead now. Anywho, I took inspiration from Sara Goldfarb in Hubert Selby Jr's 'Requiem For A Dream' and from a few old ladies that I've seen and spoken to. I nearly cried writing it since I put myself in the same mindset as the character. Sorry the introduction to it is longer than the actual thing itself! Here it is:

"Oh John, if only you could see how bright the silver candlesticks are shining. I cleaned them just for you. I only wish that David would think more of you. He's involved in that strike... I'm telling you John, if people had seen what you and I went through with the war they'd stop this silly nonsense. Oh, the kettle just went off. I'm making tea; milk and one suger, just as you'd like it. I remember, you use to say, "Oh Barbara, you're sweet enough!" John, I miss you. I got a cat to warm your side of the bed, but it's not the same. It eats more than you ever did and I'm allergic to it."

Kindest Regards,

Tofu xy

Stupid Birds and Bees

Today, I narrowly avoided the Birds and Bees conversation, and to be completely truthful, it left me with horrible chills. This is what happened:

DAD - When are you going to have sex?

ME - When I'm Sixteen...

MOM - You're goig to have sex just because you're Sixteen?!

ME - No, I mean when I do it'll be legal...

DAD - I'm not talking about the law. i'm asking you when you're going to have sex.

ME - I'm not going to plan it out. It's not like you have to have an appointment!

Then dad went on about how he doesn't like me talking to a seventeen-year-old who isn't in school and who is going to be moving into a flat soon. He went on to tell me that he didn't want me to ever have sex (obviously joking...), but still, it was horrible.

Dad doesn't like my latest fascination because he lives in a hostel (for resonable reasons - he wasn't thrown out for being a delinquent), he didn't go back to school (instead he took up some courses which he passed and is on £200 a week working full time from 4.30am) and he happens to be someone that Tess knows (even though she pretty much knows the whole of Ammanford). Dad said that all a guy needs is a place to take a girl back, but he just seems like such a monster when he goes on about 'what all guys do'. It's so annoying and judgmental of him to not like someone when he hasn't ever met him... He makes me happy, Mother seems happy for me at least!

I feel so frustraited. I mean, in nineteen days I'll be able to have sex with whoever I choose (as long as they're over sixteen). So it wouldn't be a sin or anything, would it?

Kindest Regards,

Tofu xy

23 Days To Go...

Okay, so there are twenty-three days until I can sell scrap metal (thanks Sam), so I'm actually really excited! I think that it's probably because I'll be a major (not that I'm going to use that fact for anything knowing me...) and then if anything were to happen, it would be completely legal! Although saying that, with parents like mine, I can't really see when I'll actually get the oppertunity until I'm in university. Maybe they'll change, Dad said my bedtime will go up by half an hour to midnight! We all know that that's going to be another rule forgotten though... I mean, come on, who bothers with a bedtime anymore? Just shut up and they'll let you stay downstairs until three in the morning! However, I get the feeling that I won't actually be getting the 'Birds and Bees' conversation for some reason, it just doesn't seem appropriate after everything we've gone through with Tess!

More importantly though, Abi's birthday is in three days, but we're celebrating on Tuesday instead of the actual Thursday. I'll be sure to tell you how that all goes. Plus I'm going to Swansea as a cat tomorrow, so that should be fun. Hopefully I'll get some pictures and hopefully John and Edward won't go out on the X Factor tonight! They probably will, but I just don't want to see them go! It'll totally suck! Sorry sanity, I've let you down again! Oh, and talking about a lack of sanity, I'm like, on my last 60 pages of American Psycho! I thoroughly enjoyed it, but I can't wait to watch the film with Christian Bale and Jared Leto in!

Kindest Regards,

Tofu xy

Are You Purrrrfect?

Okay... as you all know from a few posts back, I love cats. So, what I've decided to do is get some people to colour in their noses and draw on some whiskers and send me a (or a few) pictures. What I'd like the world to do is take a picture of this and then email it to me at: jupiterstar@hotmail.co.uk, or stick them on photobucket and send me a link. Then, I stick them in a photo album on facebook (entitled The Lovecats). I've linked the album in this post! So yeah, if you want to be amazing and help me with my world mission, then please, take part!

Kindest Regards,

Stripes xy

Hate That I Love You

Just shut up for a minute and listen; I never meant to hurt you, it hurts me just to think of it, and I never meant to hurt you a second time. I guess that's just the way of life though, and don't worry, because I'm suffering now. The thought of you with somebody else hurts as much as if someone was punching me repeatedly in the stomach. However, the thought of me never being 'your girl' again is just the hardest thing to deal with. You've never meant so much to me, and yet I've probably never meant so little to you. I would stab her to death so you would never be with her, the thought of you and her repulses me. I would eat meat just so you would love me. I would cry all my tears and bleed all my blood just to have you back. I know I've always been the one in the wrong, and I never tried hard enough to make things work, but I think that you're the proof I've needed to believe that love can happen more than once. Rob broke my heart the first time, I've broken my heart a second... You're going to stay in my mind until I become a cold, shell of a person. I dreamt that you and I were laying together one night, and I was crying because I love you so much. Alas, when I woke up, I was crying because I knew that that will never be. You will never take me back and I will never expect you to, because you are the best person I will ever know and you deserve so much better than this poor, pathetic thing that people call Sophie Brown. However, that won't stop me from loving you and thinking of you everyday, forever and always.

That's the Spirit (Revenge)

The fog slowly drifted into the window of Laura's apartment as she sat on the floor crying. Slowly sliding the blade down her wrist, there was no commitment in her actions.

"Harder," a voice hissed as the fog descended all around her, "Nobody will notice your petty attempts."

Laura sniffed and a tear slowly ran down her cheek. She shivered with the thought of what was happening, she didn't understand. Did this usually happen? She went to put the razor down and think everything over, but the fog just started to taunt her.

"Too much of a commitment? That's alright, you never do carry out your threats, do you? You don't really mean anything you say, to everyone else, you're just a slow, ugly, pathetic liar. That's fine by me, it's your life after all. All I know is that I'd rather be tortured and killed than be you..."

That did it for sure. Laura burst into tears, picked the razor blade back up and rested the point against her wrist.

"Is this what you want?!" she screamed rhetorically into the fog.

"Of course," it replied smugly, knowing that he was going to get what he wanted.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she put all of her energy into her hand and pressed the razor as hard as she could've ever imagined. It wasn't long until she was panting on the floor, her eyes slowly glazing over, her carpet a brand new colour. A low, malevolent laugh filled the room as the fog slowly left through the window where it had once entered. All that was left was the body of a dead teenager.

xy