Truely epic people are hard to come by; yes, you can come across awesome people, but this is different... These people say things that you'd never even thought of. These people have tiny perks that make them weird. These people might not be your friends, but you remember them for life. Now I've been down and out lately, and still am I guess, but I thought of a conversation I had with one of these TEP, and I instantly smiled. So I copy and pasted it, and here it is:
THIS CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE ON FEBRUARY 16th, 2009 :~
KEY:
{---} :random faces
{-x-} :stuff about insects
{x-x} :stuff about being tired
{xxx} : stuff about Jewish Holiday Cows
{-x-}
[16:05] EllyPhant: haha still into Ray hhmm?
[16:05] StripeS: DUH! If you watched Dancing on Ice, you'd be as well! lol
[16:05] StripeS: He's just soooo talented...
[16:05] EllyPhant: U still wanna pry off his chest hair with your teeth? U are such a groupie hehe
[16:06] EllyPhant: Wrong! His hairdresser is talented.
[16:06] StripeS: lol He's 5 years older than me :)
[16:06] EllyPhant: aahh well. Don’t let you being too old stop you trying ya luck ;)
[16:06] StripeS: he is a great actor, singer, dancer and ice skater :P
[16:07] EllyPhant: Yes... it's a shame he has no legs or arms...
[16:07] StripeS: They did 80's week on Dancing on Ice and they were like, HE was still wearing Nappies in the 80s... He was only born in 1988 :P awww
[16:07] StripeS: He's totally strong! he did the drake lift!
[16:07] EllyPhant: I was born in 1988
[16:07] EllyPhant: And I’m STILL in nappies :$
[16:08] StripeS: lmao! (lol)
[16:09] EllyPhant: I would like to rest my face in between his freshly waxed behind and fall to sleep
[16:09] StripeS: Shup you perv! First u diss Stephen Fry... now ur perving on my Ray Quinn! Get your own person! lol
[16:10] EllyPhant: hahahahaha
[16:10] EllyPhant: I know. My pervifying of your mind is almost complete... already... your sick twisted mind is forming as you become less and less disgusted by the taste of marmite on toast... SOOON you won't even flush anymore.
[16:11] EllyPhant: or wear a seat belt.
[16:11] StripeS: lmao Ych a Fi! :P Im pretty twisted and perverted anyway. I read Chuck Palahniuk, remember? lol
[16:12] EllyPhant: Is he the man who was imprisoned for paedophilia and writes novels out of his sperm and blood for ink, and uses his bed linen for paper in his sell?
[16:12] EllyPhant: He’s a saint really...
[16:12] EllyPhant: cell*
[16:13] StripeS: Erm... I dont think so... He wrote Fight Club and Lullaby though... :P
[16:14] EllyPhant: ohh that must of been ray then...
[16:14] EllyPhant: :P
[16:15] StripeS: SHUP FOO! lol
{-x-}
{x-x}
[16:22] EllyPhant: elly wants to... ring up ray and let him take me to bed... :P haha
[16:22] StripeS: lmao... Well he's have to catch a bus from my bed in that case! lol
[16:23] EllyPhant: Then he’ll be able to RAY-pe me.
[16:23] StripeS: lmao! HIGH FIVE!
[16:23] EllyPhant: lol!
[16:23] EllyPhant: *high fives*
[16:24] EllyPhant: Personally I think wouldn’t mind a little bit of man-company
[16:24] EllyPhant: He looks like one of those.... PEOPLE.
{---}
[16:25] EllyPhant: He can’t resist that pinewood odour of two men and their man smell in the morning
[16:25] EllyPhant: EW.
{x-x}
[16:25] StripeS: lol Elly! Im a minor! Polluting my already polluted mind! :P
{x-x}
[16:26] EllyPhant: How old are you again? 12-teen right? :P
[16:26] StripeS: lmao 5teen :P
[16:26] EllyPhant: hahaha
[16:27] EllyPhant: Well I’m 20. and so is ray. STAY WITHIN UR OWN AGE BRACKET WOMAN! *slaps*
[16:27] StripeS: lmao NEVER! Im 6teen in November so :P
[16:28] EllyPhant: He likes SOCKS and CRACKS! not MANNINA AND FLAPS!
[16:28] StripeS: Im might as well face it I'm addicted to Ray :P lol
[16:28] StripeS: lmao! SHUP FOO!!! He has a gf anywho... Can we kill her then share him? lol
[16:28] EllyPhant: My witty creativeness is slowly being replaced with just working class vulgarity.... soon I’ll feel the urge to drink lager and pop to the bookies.
[16:29] EllyPhant: Only if we can eat her.
[16:29] EllyPhant: So we... CONSUME the attraction he feels for her. Then he'll be attracted to us. Makes sense :P
[16:29] StripeS: Fine... you can, Im a veggie... I'll chew on the bones cz that's not meat :)
[16:30] EllyPhant: ummm well what about the bone MARROW that’s meat.
[16:30] EllyPhant: ok ok
[16:30] StripeS: I'll spit it out :P
[16:30] EllyPhant: We’ll make her work out first. To keep the meat lean and her organs supple.
[16:30] EllyPhant: :P
[16:30] EllyPhant: I would eat a human
[16:30] EllyPhant: If they were properlly cooked and consented
[16:30] EllyPhant: I'd eat them
[16:31] EllyPhant: NOM NOM NOM NOM
[16:31] StripeS: I'd rather eat a human than an animal cz animals have no voice :P
[16:31] EllyPhant: Yes but they still scream
{xxx}
[16:34] EllyPhant: Its also in Jewish law for the Rabbi to suck a newborn boys penis during circumsicion
[16:35] EllyPhant: To suck the blood out of the wound created after the foreskin is about or has been removed.
[16:35] StripeS: you're joking
[16:35] StripeS: no...
[16:35] EllyPhant: Nope. An orthodox rabbi in new york was convicted for giving several Jewish boys hepatitis
[16:35] StripeS: :S
[16:36] EllyPhant: Don’t believe me? I’ll find you the hebrew term for it
[16:36] StripeS: G2g... my Dad's almost home :P bye! Email me the term!
[16:36] EllyPhant: In more liberal Jewish synagogues they use a tube so the rabbi’s lips do not touch the boys penis
[16:36] EllyPhant: ok byes
[16:36] EllyPhant: xx
[16:36] StripeS: tra xx
I THEN GOT THIS EMAIL:~
"mezizah -- Hebrew term for the third step in the Jewish circumcision ritual, in which the mohel applies his mouth to the freshly circumcised infant's penis and sucks up the first drops of blood. In more recent times this procedure has been carried out via a tube, as infections, venereal disease, and tuberculosis, sometimes resulting in the death of the infant, have occurred due to contamination of the wound. "
"Shabbath 19:2 They may perform on the Sabbath all things that are needful for circumcision: excision, tearing, sucking [the wound], and putting thereon a bandage and cumin. If this had not been pounded up on the eve of the Sabbath a man may chew it with his teeth and then apply it."
Various more sources on other stuff, and wikipedia.
Told you. hehehe
