Get Outta My Life...

Dear Tess,

Not only are you a huge disappointment to anyone who ever put any kind of faith in you (I am one of the fools included in this category), but you are also a huge disappointment to the rest of mankind. You are so incapable to live with anyone that you were even thrown out of your own home! Lack of respect, disregard to any rules whatsoever, far too much self-importance... These are all things that grace the list of: Tess' Personality. Yet you come back, since Mother is tired of you living on the street as she's the only person that cares about you, and you haven't changed one bit! You still think you're the bees knees, you still think that everyone's wrong about you even though we've been proven right more times than I can even bother to remember, and you take everything for granted. I don't want you living in the 'summer house' (dog in a doghouse), neither does Dad, to be completely honest, neither does Mother! So how can you feel inclined to come into the family home, eat ALL our food (pig), stink to high heavens (pig) and slob around on the sofa watching television (pig)? It's such an insult, the thought of being anything like you makes me suicidal! You seriously are the scum of the Earth, the rot of the nation, the tumor of every cancer victim... Words can't describe how much your mere existence repulses me. Mother nearly died having us and how do you repay her? Easy; you don't. Why should you? Your Tess after all, that's good enough right? I can't believe that you're tearing this family apart all over again... Is it my fault? Are you jealous that I get higher marks than you? That I didn't ruin my education by smoking, drinking and drugs? That I am actually capable of loving people because of who they are and not because I can take advantage of their polite ways and hospitality? Don't you dare even think about playing the whole 'I'm your own flesh and blood' crap to Mother... It's getting old, you playing on her kind nature as if you were getting paid to... Basically, in words that you'll actually understand: I hate you so much that you've managed to successfully ruin the family home for the family unit. Ha, I guess it's just like what Mother said to Skid: ship up or ship out...

Kindest Regards,

Your 'Sister'

Stripes xy

*nya*

It's in the Genes

I swear to God that there must be a gene that makes you talented! I mean, there are so many talented people out there who have talented parents! Let's take the example of the Haners. Brian Haner is an amazing musician comedian. His son, Synyster Gates, is an amazingly hot guitarist who is the best and is part of the best band! Is this a coincidence? I don't think so! Look:

• Brian Haner (Guitar Guy) - Carney Man:

• Brian Haner Jr. (Synyster Gates) - Solo:

And because they are so awesome, I've stuck two more of their videos below... Oh, and Sam, I think you'll like Octuplet Babies, I don't know why though... Avenged Sevenfold are just so amazing! Synyster Gates = the sex! I was well chuffed when he got Sexiest Male in the Kerrang! poll, even if Kerrang! are full of two-faced arseholes...

• Brian Haner - Octuplet Babies:

• Avenged Sevenfold - Afterlife:

I Aint Got No Fault

think about it... double negative... hey hey...

Anime characters sprout ears to show excitement, and randomly get cat mouths to show mischief, and not to be sexy... however it's totally sexy! Yeah, so I have a kind of cat thing... but looking at these pictures, can you really blame me? Think about it; the elegance and grace that only cats have, the huge ears, the long tail, the giant eyes... Seriously? Jizz! Can you not see the appeal? Do you not want to leap into the manga world and dry hump the guy/girl that's sprouted cat ears? If not, then you seriously have a problem! So leave me be!

Kindest Regards,

Stripes xy

*nya*

PostScript: Dear God, Please do me a favour and send me a real life version of a sexy catboy who occasionally takes to wearing a cowboy hat? I'd be very grateful. Like a cross between Jack Twist and the guy in this post! Oh, and most importantly, make him love me. Maybe even throw in an Irish accent (subtle, like Dublin), personality and some intelligence too? That would be fantastic! Diolch. Oh, and send him recorded so he doesn't get lost in the post!

Straight to the Point

The Ink's Run Dry

I can't write at all lately... I either have scenes in my head that don't tie in with the current story, or I just can't keep a storyline together. It's bugging me loads. Sop I cast my mind back to when I would write non-stop in Year Six (I'm in Year Ten now), and it was all fan fiction. Then I thought, why don't I just write fan fiction but make up the names?! I mean, I'll have to pen a plot of course. I don't want to waste time writing just 5 chapters and then finishing the tale with just that! But the inspiration is still not coming. I just don't know if I have what it takes to be a proper novelist... I mean, how could somebody ever come up with such an amazing character as Jack Twist (or was it just Jake Gyllenhaal that made Jack that amazing)?

Kindest Regards,

Stripes xy

And I Said Shut Up! xD

Okay... Lets be blunt. I don't do jokes. I don't like them. I don't find them funny. Actually no, I'm going to be completely 100% honest and tell you all: I HATE (with a passion) JOKES. Full Stop. Get it? Good.

All of my friends will (hopefully) know this. I think most of them do. I do find things funny. I love Stand-Up Comedians. I like funny things. But when people stand there and tell jokes? What's the point? Shut up! I don't care about a joke that 15, 000 people have heard and repeated! Geez...

So I think it's suiting that I have to play the role of an unfunny comedian who quits his job as part of a comedic double act. Ryan and Ronnie... heard of them? I hadn't until Ffion (-.-) mentioned them in Drama. Apparently my Grand Father (on Skid's side) knew Ryan. Apparently he was an arse.

Cerian, Ffion and I had to make 3 scenes based on the same setting: A Date on a Mountain. We came up with the first two and then ran out of ideas. We had 5 minutes to come up with them and at this point, we had just 2 minutes left. This is a basic description of what happened:

(Cerian and Sophie stand looking at the floor in a contemplating silence)

Ffion: Can I tell you a joke?
Sophie: We don't really have any time for that.
Cerian: How about...
Ffion: What did the skunk say when the wind turned?
Cerian: ...and then she...
Ffion: It's all coming back to me now!

(Sophie and Cerian ignore this and discuss Cerian's idea in more detail)

Ffion said that joke twice... I could've shot her both times. The only person who does jokes and one-liners well is Jimmy Carr and that's only when he's bouncing off people. He handles hecklers well though!

Got a Performance Tomorrow!

Kindest Regards,

Stripes xy

PostScript: I'm sorry to disappoint, but yes, it is impossible. You, William Beckett, are simply too darn hot! You have everything going for you: personality, humour, talent!

Until Death Do Us Part

Dear Ryland,

Let's just talk about it, I know you've been avoiding the subject. I also knew that if I said this to you face to face then you'd drink yourself into unconsciousness, you'd believe that I had never been here, talking, to you. You, my groom, stood there with the fabulous suit that you told me you hated when I said that I liked it; I was so happy when I found out you'd bought it behind my back to give me a pleasant surprise. I knew you were special, a special young man that I could spend the rest of my life with. And that's exactly the point; I did spend the rest of my life with you. Yet you're still young. You're single. You're - it makes me sick to even say it - you're happy! How dare you be happy when your beautiful bride, and yes I was beautiful, is laying under the floorboards. My confidence died when you deformed my face with that broken bottle. My body died when you sliced through my throat. My soul died with the unbearable amount of disappointment and heartbreak that you caused in those short moments. Not to worry though, I got my confidence back. You see, the better a person you are, the better you look in the spirit world. I'll have you know, I'm quite a stunner. Got myself a treat, a (until recently) lonely man who saved the woman of his dreams. His name is Nicolas. He got her out of a fire that took place here when this house was made out of stone. She never knew him and he never made it out. He tells me he loves me, I believe him. I also believe that your guilt, if there's any justice, will forever get in the way of your happiness. You loved me, I know it; I hear you screaming it in the dead of night. It's like music to my ears, and it makes Nicolas happy to see my smile. Is it not nice to think that you're still bringing happiness into your wife's life?

Wishing you a long, miserable life,

Your Beautiful Wife,

Victoria xox

Risque :P

Okay, I'm home alone, lonely and bored. I've been ediing my MySpace (http://myspace.com/sophiestripes) and when I turn around, I see this:

Now let me break this picture down for you... Mary (the pedigree whippet puppy that we bought to keep Floss company after Holly died) was stood with all four paws on the kitchen table. She was nibling a mini-roll wrapper which you might be able to see behind her front right leg.

I was shocked! So I took the photo, and looking at the expression on her face, she knew there was no way out: She's Been Caugt On Camera Red Handed. Her face made me laugh anyway, but then when I told her to get down, she walked all around the table and because the cat was sat on the chair that she must've used as a step ladder, I had to pick her up and place her on the floor!

Kindest Regards,

Potato xy

Future Tattoo Maybe?

"Better To Be Lucky, Than Clever."

This is a quote from Elly's poem Picnic on the Venus Flytrap. Why am I sharing this with you? Because I think it's one of the most amazing quotes ever. I would seriously get this tattooed on me, maybe on my left wrist in script. To me, it means that just because you're not the smartest, doesn't mean you won't excel. You don't have to be the cream of the cream to be someone. Thank yoy Elly for bringing this line into my life... :)

Kindest Regards,

An Inspired,

Stripes xy

Makeover Time!

It's Spring and just like every year, Spring means change, BIG CHANGE. But is it just the blog, or is it more than that? Of course it is! (and I say that with a smile.) It's the blog's makeover time, it's my makeover time as well. Out goes the old me, in comes the new. A makeover doesn't mean the end, it simply means (in this context anyway) an improvement on something. It's to be a year of confidence, a year of commitment, a year of change. I will show more skin than my finger tips and face, I will have a boyfriend that lasts longer than Ashley - isn't it funny (how bears like honey?) how he was my longest relationship both times I went out with him? Oh, and I will write a whole book by the new year! It's not a promise, but it's still a goal! In the words of We Are Scientists, "I promise to remember that making promises is always a mistake." Amen to that!

Kindest Regards,

A Much Happier,

Jupiter Star. xy

Geez, I Love Life!

What do I want to do right now? Slam my hand into the wall, individually snap every single bone in my hand, crack my arms and then, for good measures, start slamming my head into the corner of the closet. Why? Because I'm a freak and am so full of jealousy, anger and self-pity that I can't stand to even think about myself.

I don't want to breath anymore, why can't I just stop. I picture mysef jumping backwards down the stairs and yet can't brng myself to do it... I want a car to hit me. I want some crazed madman to shoot me in the back of my head. I want to hear the bullet shatter the back of my skull, squeeze its way through my brains and then burst forth through my forehead. Only then will I be happy.

What's wrong with me? Why am I such a freak? Why do I always fall at the last hurdle? Why can't I do anything by myself and then get so frustrated when it doesnt go my way? Why am I so pathetic? Answer: Because that's Sophie Brown.

Why can't I just be born again in a better time, in a better place, as a better person? Answer: Because there is no God, and there is no justice.

Hope Your Life is Better Than Mine,

The Epic Failure That Is,

Sophie Brown xy

Do us a Flavour!

What do you do when you have a friend, who's really pretty, and needs votes for a modelling competition that she was chosen for? Whore her out of course! xD

Do you feel bad for not texting Comic Relief? Do you hate all the fake, boring models that are INCREDIBLY over-rated? Do you want to do me a favour? If Yes, then read on, if No, then read on anyway!

It would mean the world if you could just text Lucy Bell to 84205... That's all it takes. One text and she comes closer to a place above all the teen queen brats that are surrounding us today! So just text Lucy Bell to 84205, and set us free from all our sins, TODAY.

You're my Favourite Chain

"You're as perfect as a painting, but they burn easily," Jackson turned his back and started to leave. I don't know what possessed me, whether it was anger or sadness, either way there was a fire burning inside.

"What's that mean to mean?" I shouted across at him, not caring when I accidentally spat on my arm because of the words shooting out from inside. My throat burned, my eyes watered and my fists shook, but not enough for him to notice.

"Just look after yourself Autumn," Jackson whispered before closing the door, separating the two of us in what felt like two completely different worlds.

The lump in my throat suffocated me now. Thinking back to a mere second ago, I realised that the emotion that possessed me, the fire that filled me, it was mourning... I'd known he was leaving me; was it love that had kept me so blind that I hadn't seen this? Coming to terms with that theory is going to take a long time.

Without Jackson, I don't know what to do. So, in a blind, transparent mood, I picked up the phone and dialled Josh's number. "You're not worth the upset," I sobbed before hanging up.

I'd rather eat a panda than let anything come between me and Jackson.