Nostalgic Wounds Reopened

Yesterday morning, I woke up happier than usual. I was so happy that I actually smiled and thought about all the things that I could do today that would help me to continue in this joyous mood. But first, I had to wake up Holly and let her know I was awake and that I'd give her some treats in a second. So I stretched my hand down, and stroked her head and then realised that it felt smaller than it should be. And that's when the cold, harsh reality struck...

Shooting up in bed, I looked at Mary, who was sleeping against my legs, and I let out a sad, silent, sob. That's exactly where Holly use to sleep every night until Mother and Dad took her in her room because of all the sorrow that hit us when we all realised that it could be her last night any night. Then she had to sleep downstairs because the chemotherapy proved too much and she couldn't hold her meals.

Instead of seeing the half black Labrador, half Whippet, on my baby rug taking up a massive amount of my leg space, I saw the pedigree whippet on my duvet talking up a tiny amount of it. (I use to put my baby rug on my bed so she's sleep there instead of on Tess' bed, but after she passed, I hung it on my chair and refuse to put it on my bed for the painful memories that it would provoke.)

Now don't get me wrong, I love Mary to bits, but if somebody offered me the chance to have Holly back, alive and healthy, I'd jump at it. Needles to say, the good mood didn't stay.

Kindest Regards,

A Mournful,

Stripes xy

Today (and the Other Days...)

A lot has happened this week, and I can't be bothered to even summarise it all to my very own mother! All you need to know is that I now have a boyfriend (Dave), I lost three friends and I had a really good AS result for Critical Thinking. I'm getting my GCSE result today, but to be honest, I can't really find the energy to be scared or nervous about it, as long as I can pretend to be pleased in front of the people that'll be watching, I'll be happy! If you learn to pretend emotions, then you'll be able to find your way out of tricky situations! I'll be going to the cinema after with my amazing friend, Abi, to see The Time Traveller's Wife. I feel happy because I went to England overnight on Monday and England feels like home to me. I just love it there! We went there as an early present for Mother since Dad can't get her birthday off...

It's Mother's birthday today, I got her Define perfume, Badedas bubble bath, The Liar by Stephen Fry, a poetry book, blue eye shadow, Lost in Austen dvd, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Arctic Monkey's Humbug. I think she's happy over all, and that's all I could've asked for. She got loads off Dad as well... I'm trying to convince Dave to draw a picture inside her card. I bought Giant Parma Violets the other day and when I gave them to Mother, I convinced her that Dave bought them for her and she totally believes me and still does!

Oh, and Sam, I truely think your an awesome guy, a real friend. I just want you to know. I think I come across as cold a lot of the time, so I just need you to know that I think of you as one of my most important, most valued friends. Okay?

Kindest Regards,

A Very Sleepy,

Stripes xy

Me (the Busy Bee)

I gave myself concussion! I'm not telling you how, it's so ridiculous and stupid. I seriously can't help it though!

I'm Mental!

I've given myself high hopes about something I know is going to run dry really quickly, again, because of me. I'm not going to tell you what until it's happened, which is Thursday (yes, the same Thursday that I get my Critical Thinking AS result). Oh bum it... I'll tell you what it is, but I can't be bothered to bore you with the details.

I think I have a date!

Then on Saturday, I'm meeting up with Matthew, but again, I can't be bothered to bore you with the details of 'us' so yeah... sorry. I will tell you one thing though:

It's Complicated.

I'm reading Junk by Melvin Burgess now. I know it's not exactly uplifting (which I was looking for) but the writing style is a pleasant break from the bleak, cynical world of Chuck Palahniuk. I don't particularly like the characters either, so there won't be a huge heartbreak like there was in both Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and Prey.

I'm A Bookoholic!

Kindest Regards,

Somebody That Cares,

Stripes xy

My Three Part Dream

Dream One:

Me and Jonathan and a group of people stood in a bus stop that we'd never seen before the school cafeteria. Jonathan and I decided that we'd run over to the other bus stop, near a skip. When we were there, it tured out that it had been half converted into a conservatory. Everyone joined us and then we all got on the bus. We then had to go to another bus stop and it was getting really dark. Me and a stranger (who I knew in my dream) ran through the site of a closed down warehouse and then she lifted up a wire-mesh fence for me to crawl under. When I got to the other side, she was gone, and I started to cry because I was lost. Shortly after, I remembered where the bus stop was and I ran to it just in time to catch the bus. Simon Cowell was sat in the back seat for some really weird reason. I was holding a huge teddy bear on my lap and had my tote bag with my phone and iPod and money in, etc. Simon then looked really scared and when we turned around, everything surrounding us was ice. We went to reverse up a hill, but that had turned to ice as well and we started to slide back down. A fire engine came and the firemen made us walk up a hill, before we took off our shoes and socks and slid down the ice on some black plastic that they'd put there for our safety. We then just stood around laughing before I realised that I'd never see my iPod again. That's when I woke up the first time.

Dream Two:

I walked through the gates of my primary school, still upset about the iPod, and then I saw a guy I use to like called William and it was like I was in Year Six again. We were laughing and joking about when I found two books on the floor, so I picked them up to ask who they belonged to. We went inside and sat in the hall, like we use to in primary school, with the television showing a very childish film on the stage. Me and William exchanged a look of nostalgia and then everyone started to leave. I put the books in front of me and some kid put loads of money in my hand and thanked me. The Year Three teacher and the Year Four teacher stayed behind with me and a few other people my age that had stumbled into their primary school. It took them a while to explain that they were his books and that he gave me the money as a reward for finding them. For some reason, I just couldn't understand. Then, the Year Three teacher (who loved me throughout primary school) made me read out a part of the book, but I couldn't, and to make things wose, I couldn' find a page I could read. This upset me since throughout primary, I was always the top of the class. That's when I woke up the second time.

Dream Three:

I was with this amazingly pretty girl who was an adult, but came across as being my age. I don't know, maybe I was older in my dream than I am now. We walked out of the primary school doors before she threw a weird looking camera in my hand. I started taking pictures of these weird, hairy, strong men that were hiding in the kitchen, behind the cafeteria. Then we ran away before they could see, and kill, us. Sprinting, we got to the primary's playground and then this pretty stranger that I was with started shooting at this man with a gun. I quickly took a photo of him before discovering I had a gun, exacatly like the one this girl had, in my other hand. We ran through the corridors, shooting these weird looking men, and then we hid by a car next to the cafeteria. A man came out on crutches and was being helped by two men in suites. I asked the girl if he was 'one of us' and she didn't answer. I had a feeling he was. They led the man past the cafeteria and as the man behind him was nearly hidden by the wall, he shot the girl next to me in the forehead repeatidly and then shot me in the forehead repeatidly. I took a shot at him and missed, but did get a photo of him. I looked at the beautiful stranger that I was with and she looked at me back. We both shared a confussed expression. We saw the bullets, but they had felt like water. I could see no bullet wound on her and neither could she on me. We ran around the cafeteria and I leapt over a wall, taking cover. I called her and she followed my lead. We were both hiding in the graveyard. That's when I woke up the third, and last, time.

Kindest Regards,

A Bewildered,

Stripes xy

The Shifter's Series.

A few months back, I discovered a book called Stray by Rachel Vincent. The cover caught me as it's really interesting and featured a female with four claw marks on her lower back. My curiosity had me hooked to it, so I had to check it out. I'd finished reading the Twilight Saga and then I'd read another Chuck Palahniuk book before moving onto a new book. (I usually do this since I aim to read all of his books.)

I really liked how Stephanie Meyer had created a new kind of werewolf and vampire, very much unlike the ones that feature in a lot of books and films. I liked this new idea of them; vampires trying not to be murderous people and werewolves just being very large wolves that can hear the thoughts of their prides other members. Yes, vampires and werewolves seem to be childish subject matter, but they're not. It all depends on how you depict them, you may be using them as a methaphor.

These books are not childish. They aren't exactly The God Delusion or The Mayor Of Casterbridge, but they aren't Jacqueline Wilson either! They left me thirsty for more books featuring fictional species that weren't so stereotypical that they made me feel sick, and because of that, I was in search of good books with preferably werewolves in.

This book cover suggested that to me, but I was in for a very pleasant surprise and little did I realise at the time that I had just stumbled upon the exact thing I was looking for. Stray, book one of the Shifter's series by Rachel Vincent, is about werecats. I know, I'd never heard of them either, and because of that, my blood pumped and my jaw clenched with excitement.

The series is about Faythe Sanders who's father, Greg Sanders, is the pride's Alpha, their pride being the largest. They are all werecats, but as the series name suggests, they take the form of people and then shift into these huge black panther-like cats. The Alpha is the head of their area (pride) and they have many enforcers. They have many children as a Tabby is the only way that the pride can continue, however tabbies are rare hence them having so many brothers. Whoever Faythe marrys will go on to become the Alpha of the Pride, therefor he has to be a fellow werecat.

There are other cats apart from Pride cats. There are strays, rogues and wildcats, but pride cats are the most influencial and the only ones who have a system complete with politics.

After Stray, there's Rogue, Pride and then Prey. I finished reading Pey the other night and could barely keep the tears in. I cried all night and morning since my all time favourite fictional character ever was brutally murdered. I still can't talk about it without welling up. What can I say? I get emotionally attatched to books like this!

I highly recommend them to any girl who's read Twilight and enjoyed it, and maybe it captures a certain percentage of the Magician's Guild readers. Both Rachel Vincent and Trudi Canavan have a flowwing writing style that can hardly be faultered. Consider Yourself Told!

Kindest Regards,

Stripes xy