Relocation...

www.jupitian.blogspot.com

Truely Epic People

Truely epic people are hard to come by; yes, you can come across awesome people, but this is different... These people say things that you'd never even thought of. These people have tiny perks that make them weird. These people might not be your friends, but you remember them for life. Now I've been down and out lately, and still am I guess, but I thought of a conversation I had with one of these TEP, and I instantly smiled. So I copy and pasted it, and here it is:

THIS CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE ON FEBRUARY 16th, 2009 :~
KEY:
{---} :random faces
{-x-} :stuff about insects
{x-x} :stuff about being tired
{xxx} : stuff about Jewish Holiday Cows

{-x-}
[16:05] EllyPhant: haha still into Ray hhmm?
[16:05] StripeS: DUH! If you watched Dancing on Ice, you'd be as well! lol
[16:05] StripeS: He's just soooo talented...
[16:05] EllyPhant: U still wanna pry off his chest hair with your teeth? U are such a groupie hehe
[16:06] EllyPhant: Wrong! His hairdresser is talented.
[16:06] StripeS: lol He's 5 years older than me :)
[16:06] EllyPhant: aahh well. Don’t let you being too old stop you trying ya luck ;)
[16:06] StripeS: he is a great actor, singer, dancer and ice skater :P
[16:07] EllyPhant: Yes... it's a shame he has no legs or arms...
[16:07] StripeS: They did 80's week on Dancing on Ice and they were like, HE was still wearing Nappies in the 80s... He was only born in 1988 :P awww
[16:07] StripeS: He's totally strong! he did the drake lift!
[16:07] EllyPhant: I was born in 1988
[16:07] EllyPhant: And I’m STILL in nappies :$
[16:08] StripeS: lmao! (lol)
[16:09] EllyPhant: I would like to rest my face in between his freshly waxed behind and fall to sleep
[16:09] StripeS: Shup you perv! First u diss Stephen Fry... now ur perving on my Ray Quinn! Get your own person! lol
[16:10] EllyPhant: hahahahaha
[16:10] EllyPhant: I know. My pervifying of your mind is almost complete... already... your sick twisted mind is forming as you become less and less disgusted by the taste of marmite on toast... SOOON you won't even flush anymore.
[16:11] EllyPhant: or wear a seat belt.
[16:11] StripeS: lmao Ych a Fi! :P Im pretty twisted and perverted anyway. I read Chuck Palahniuk, remember? lol
[16:12] EllyPhant: Is he the man who was imprisoned for paedophilia and writes novels out of his sperm and blood for ink, and uses his bed linen for paper in his sell?
[16:12] EllyPhant: He’s a saint really...
[16:12] EllyPhant: cell*
[16:13] StripeS: Erm... I dont think so... He wrote Fight Club and Lullaby though... :P
[16:14] EllyPhant: ohh that must of been ray then...
[16:14] EllyPhant: :P
[16:15] StripeS: SHUP FOO! lol
{-x-}
{x-x}
[16:22] EllyPhant: elly wants to... ring up ray and let him take me to bed... :P haha
[16:22] StripeS: lmao... Well he's have to catch a bus from my bed in that case! lol
[16:23] EllyPhant: Then he’ll be able to RAY-pe me.
[16:23] StripeS: lmao! HIGH FIVE!
[16:23] EllyPhant: lol!
[16:23] EllyPhant: *high fives*
[16:24] EllyPhant: Personally I think wouldn’t mind a little bit of man-company
[16:24] EllyPhant: He looks like one of those.... PEOPLE.
{---}
[16:25] EllyPhant: He can’t resist that pinewood odour of two men and their man smell in the morning
[16:25] EllyPhant: EW.
{x-x}
[16:25] StripeS: lol Elly! Im a minor! Polluting my already polluted mind! :P
{x-x}
[16:26] EllyPhant: How old are you again? 12-teen right? :P
[16:26] StripeS: lmao 5teen :P
[16:26] EllyPhant: hahaha
[16:27] EllyPhant: Well I’m 20. and so is ray. STAY WITHIN UR OWN AGE BRACKET WOMAN! *slaps*
[16:27] StripeS: lmao NEVER! Im 6teen in November so :P
[16:28] EllyPhant: He likes SOCKS and CRACKS! not MANNINA AND FLAPS!
[16:28] StripeS: Im might as well face it I'm addicted to Ray :P lol
[16:28] StripeS: lmao! SHUP FOO!!! He has a gf anywho... Can we kill her then share him? lol
[16:28] EllyPhant: My witty creativeness is slowly being replaced with just working class vulgarity.... soon I’ll feel the urge to drink lager and pop to the bookies.
[16:29] EllyPhant: Only if we can eat her.
[16:29] EllyPhant: So we... CONSUME the attraction he feels for her. Then he'll be attracted to us. Makes sense :P
[16:29] StripeS: Fine... you can, Im a veggie... I'll chew on the bones cz that's not meat :)
[16:30] EllyPhant: ummm well what about the bone MARROW that’s meat.
[16:30] EllyPhant: ok ok
[16:30] StripeS: I'll spit it out :P
[16:30] EllyPhant: We’ll make her work out first. To keep the meat lean and her organs supple.
[16:30] EllyPhant: :P
[16:30] EllyPhant: I would eat a human
[16:30] EllyPhant: If they were properlly cooked and consented
[16:30] EllyPhant: I'd eat them
[16:31] EllyPhant: NOM NOM NOM NOM
[16:31] StripeS: I'd rather eat a human than an animal cz animals have no voice :P
[16:31] EllyPhant: Yes but they still scream
{xxx}
[16:34] EllyPhant: Its also in Jewish law for the Rabbi to suck a newborn boys penis during circumsicion
[16:35] EllyPhant: To suck the blood out of the wound created after the foreskin is about or has been removed.
[16:35] StripeS: you're joking
[16:35] StripeS: no...
[16:35] EllyPhant: Nope. An orthodox rabbi in new york was convicted for giving several Jewish boys hepatitis
[16:35] StripeS: :S
[16:36] EllyPhant: Don’t believe me? I’ll find you the hebrew term for it
[16:36] StripeS: G2g... my Dad's almost home :P bye! Email me the term!
[16:36] EllyPhant: In more liberal Jewish synagogues they use a tube so the rabbi’s lips do not touch the boys penis
[16:36] EllyPhant: ok byes
[16:36] EllyPhant: xx
[16:36] StripeS: tra xx

I THEN GOT THIS EMAIL:~
"mezizah -- Hebrew term for the third step in the Jewish circumcision ritual, in which the mohel applies his mouth to the freshly circumcised infant's penis and sucks up the first drops of blood. In more recent times this procedure has been carried out via a tube, as infections, venereal disease, and tuberculosis, sometimes resulting in the death of the infant, have occurred due to contamination of the wound. "
"Shabbath 19:2 They may perform on the Sabbath all things that are needful for circumcision: excision, tearing, sucking [the wound], and putting thereon a bandage and cumin. If this had not been pounded up on the eve of the Sabbath a man may chew it with his teeth and then apply it."
Various more sources on other stuff, and wikipedia.
Told you. hehehe

What I Recieved...

Today is my Birthday! (Y)

• 10.2 megapixel digital camera (whom I called Toby)
• A bright lime carrier and a card-reader to go with Toby.
• DVDs: The History Boys, My So-Called Life, Click, Being Human.
• CDs: Burn Halo, Motley Crue
• A white and green watch from Next.
• A tee saying 'I Jingle All The Way'
• An angel decoration and 'Voodoo The Destroyer'.
• A magnet of Aiden Turner from Desperate Romantics.
• A keyring of Santi.
• Biffy Clyro's new album 'Only Revolutions' (from Tess)
• An epic notebook and a cute little brown cat ornament (from Kieran)
• An epic black duck broach that I adore (from Hannah)
• Another cute little cat ornament, but yellow instead (from Sam)
• A tee and 'Next: Just Pink' fragrant bath set (from the Brown Family)
• A strawberry keyring and an epic frame (from the Smith Family)
• A red (not blue) box of Lindt chocolates (from the Hammett Family)
• A keyring that shall be converted into a necklace (from Cerian)

To celebrate my coming of age, I shall be going to see Elliot Minor on Thursday November 19th, and New Moon on Saturday November 21st. I know people are thinking, She Didn't Throw A Party? I don't like them when I'm the focus though!

Tofu! <3

Routine Ruins

In the dead of night, when nobody is awake, my soul starts to dread the tiny slithers of light that are bound to shed through the clouds at any given moment. The light marks the beginning of a new day, and with each one passing, one can't help but feel the cruel, harsh reality that we live in a routine lifestyle sink in. Our lives are dictated to us by the passing of the sun. The hours between the darkness descending and the light shining through are just as lively as a corpse. Everyone's gone, the next day is creeping closer to you. Deadlines that haven't been met, people you don't want to see, it all comes to mind with a sudden cold reality that is as welcome as a knife in the eye. We all become broken products of routine; routine ruins.

Kindest Regards,

Tofu xy

Nine Steps...

Set the character's NORMALITY. An EVENT happens to change it. The main character now has an OBJECTIVE. On their way to complete this, around three OSTRUCTIONS happen that prevent the character from achieving their objective. A CRISIS happens that makes us think, "No, now they'll never get to where they're going..." This is followed by a CLIMAX, and then comes down to a CONCLUSION. Whether or not they achieve their objective is up to you as the writer.

Kindest Regards,

Tofu xy

Eargasms for the Poor!

I only have one Biffy Clyro album (Puzzle), and it's amazing. Simon Neil is stupendous though; everything he says has an underlying truth, he's an amazing singer (Scottish, yet you can't tell as much anymore) and he's one of those people that can't help but to come out with amazing ideas and music. I get Kerrang! and NME every single Wednesday, and this week they were giving away a free offer: Biffy Clyro recorded four songs in an acoustic session, and with the given code, you could get them for free. There's a tiny little catch: you have a limited amount of time. The first 2,000 people get all four songs, the next 1,000 people get two songs, the following 2,500 people got one song. I didn't realise that, so when I found out, my heart sank and I did it quickly. I GOT FOUR SONGS! Their songs sound amazing (you can hear their whole album on MySpace) and I don't just want it, I need it. It sounds so good, and it's a lot more uplifting than their last one. The topic is love, and love it I shall. It's called Only Revolutions and it's released on November 9th. Get it now if you know what's good for your ears!

Kindest Regards,

Tofu xy

Just A Monolgue

Okay, so I was in Drama the other day and we were all told to write a monologue from someone during the Miner's Strike in around 5 minutes. I chose to do one from the old lady, because I like to write as old people, but at the same time it's hard to know what old people would've thought about the Miner's Strike since it was 25 years ago and they'd all be dead now. Anywho, I took inspiration from Sara Goldfarb in Hubert Selby Jr's 'Requiem For A Dream' and from a few old ladies that I've seen and spoken to. I nearly cried writing it since I put myself in the same mindset as the character. Sorry the introduction to it is longer than the actual thing itself! Here it is:

"Oh John, if only you could see how bright the silver candlesticks are shining. I cleaned them just for you. I only wish that David would think more of you. He's involved in that strike... I'm telling you John, if people had seen what you and I went through with the war they'd stop this silly nonsense. Oh, the kettle just went off. I'm making tea; milk and one suger, just as you'd like it. I remember, you use to say, "Oh Barbara, you're sweet enough!" John, I miss you. I got a cat to warm your side of the bed, but it's not the same. It eats more than you ever did and I'm allergic to it."

Kindest Regards,

Tofu xy