I never really felt the need to wake up early. Especially not to wake up early enough to see the morning. Yet today, I had hope; hope that I'd get some for of contact from you. Be it a phone call, a text, anything really. I jumped out of bed at just gone 9am and I quickly had a bath. thoughts of disappointment came to mind, sneaking their way in from the corners of my brain, and for the first time ever, I tried my hardest to push them out. I didn't want to doubt you. I just wanted to have a great with you. It even looked like the weather was trying to mirror my hope. The sun came out to see us. She had no such luck though. 4hours later and for some unknown reason, I'm still praying for contact. I know you lost your phone, but your sister could've helped you out. If you lost that piece of paper with my number on, if she didn't have my number, someone from Drama would have. Now I'm thinking that the sun didn't come out to see us, instead she came out to mock my mounting disappointment. I don't know why I wanted to see you so badly, maybe it's because I like you. This rejection is making me feel sick, I just want to go to sleep. I just want to give up. This is the last time I'll trust someone to make arrangements for me, to actually stick to a brief idea, to make me feel hopeful. Hope is just a loser refusing to accept that the probability of disappointment at some point in the day is amazingly high. Don't tell me you overslept. I woke up especially for you. Maybe you'll regret it one day, but I doubt it. You just never cared in the way I did, and still do.
Kindest Regards,
A Heartbroken,
Stripes xy
Oh my precious, innocent Sophie. It hurts me, it hurts me so much to feel your pain, your anger, your frustration. It hurts me that you got disappointed by someone you trustet... someone you care about, and that, no matter what I say, no matter how much I want to help you, to be at your side and be just there for you, it wouldn't change anything. I really want to let you know that you can count on me, that you can open up your mind in front of me and share your feelings with me - use me as valve to you soul. But why should it help you? Some guy you barely know who's living in a country that's too far away wants to be your soulmate - a person you could trust with your life? How pathetic and foolish to think this way.
ReplyDeleteBut still, even though you couldn't care less at that point of your life, even though it wouldn't ease your pain - I want you to know that I will be there for you, if you need me. Because I trust you, because you are such an important person for me, a friend - even more than this. And I want to share these feelings with you... every time you need them. I will return that favour, I promise. Because you CAN trust me, if you want to. I just don't want to push you.
i actully tried my hardest to contact you, i phoned ur phone like 8,000 times. but all i got was answer phone. i honestly tried to phone you i actully bought i phone today so this wouldnt happen ever again. i am truely sorry =[.
ReplyDeleteAndy