Life on Jupiter.: And I Said Shut Up! xD

Welcome to my World

I'm a lover of music and I'm a lover of words. I may come across as sarcastic, cynical and pathetic; it's okay if you think that, because that's how I roll. I've been alive since the 17th of November 1993; I've been a Vegetarian since the 19th of May 2008. Stephen Fry, in my young eyes, is God. (You can find an old monologue of his somewhere on the right-hand side of this page.)

Sit back, relax, take a leap right out of your world. It'll only take a minute of your time. Don't knock it until you've tried it.

16 April, 2009

And I Said Shut Up! xD

Okay... Lets be blunt. I don't do jokes. I don't like them. I don't find them funny. Actually no, I'm going to be completely 100% honest and tell you all: I HATE (with a passion) JOKES. Full Stop. Get it? Good.

All of my friends will (hopefully) know this. I think most of them do. I do find things funny. I love Stand-Up Comedians. I like funny things. But when people stand there and tell jokes? What's the point? Shut up! I don't care about a joke that 15, 000 people have heard and repeated! Geez...

So I think it's suiting that I have to play the role of an unfunny comedian who quits his job as part of a comedic double act. Ryan and Ronnie... heard of them? I hadn't until Ffion (-.-) mentioned them in Drama. Apparently my Grand Father (on Skid's side) knew Ryan. Apparently he was an arse.

Cerian, Ffion and I had to make 3 scenes based on the same setting: A Date on a Mountain. We came up with the first two and then ran out of ideas. We had 5 minutes to come up with them and at this point, we had just 2 minutes left. This is a basic description of what happened:

(Cerian and Sophie stand looking at the floor in a contemplating silence)

Ffion: Can I tell you a joke?
Sophie: We don't really have any time for that.
Cerian: How about...
Ffion: What did the skunk say when the wind turned?
Cerian: ...and then she...
Ffion: It's all coming back to me now!

(Sophie and Cerian ignore this and discuss Cerian's idea in more detail)

Ffion said that joke twice... I could've shot her both times. The only person who does jokes and one-liners well is Jimmy Carr and that's only when he's bouncing off people. He handles hecklers well though!

Got a Performance Tomorrow!

Kindest Regards,

Stripes xy

PostScript: I'm sorry to disappoint, but yes, it is impossible. You, William Beckett, are simply too darn hot! You have everything going for you: personality, humour, talent!

1 comment:

batpawn16 April 2009 at 23:57
I feel your pain so much, my good Sophie. Ironically, most of those people who are telling jokes aren't even funny persons to begin with. Which makes the overall appearance of "I'm here now, laugh about what I have to say - you fools!" taste bitter-sweet. Oh well...
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My Top Ten Favourite Quotes from Confucius :

You Cannot Open a Book Without Learning Something.
The Will to Win, The Desire to Succeed, The Urge to Reach Your Full Potential... These Are The Keys That Will Unlock The Door to Personal Excellence.
We Should Feel Sorrow, But Not Sink Under Its Oppression.
Old Age, Believe Me, is a Good And Pleasant Thing. It is True You Are Gently Shouldered Off The Stage, But Then You Are Given Such a Comfortable Front Stall as Spectator.
Only The Wisest And Stupidest of Men Never Change.
It is Easy to Hate And it is Difficult to Love. This is How The Whole Scheme of Things Works. All Good Things Are Difficult to Achieve; And Bad Things Are Very Easy to Get.
Never Give a Sword to a Man Who Can't Dance.
If I Am Walking With Two Other Men, Each of Them Will Serve as my Teacher. I Will Pick Out The Good Points of The One And Imitate Them, and The Bad Points of The Other and Correct Them in Myself.
Choose a Job You Love, And You Will Never Have to Work a Day in Your Life.
By Three Methods We May Learn Wisdom: First, by Reflection, Which is Noblest; Second, by Imitation, Which is Easiest; And Third by Experience, Which is The Bitterest.

An Old Stephen Fry Monologue :

"I hate you, I despise you, I loathe you. Everything about you DISGUSTS me. Your ears, eyes, nose, mouth, tongue, legs, knees, stomach, ribs and bottom make me want to vomit up. You're repulsive, loathsome, grotesque and insupportable. I want to kill you, I want to twist your nipples off and throw them to the dogs. You scum. You low, corrosive lump of fecal horror, you maniac bastardly turd. I would rather drink stale urine from Norman Fowler's arse-pit than remain one moment more in your defiling company. You're filth, you're cack, you're the ooze of a burst boil; I abominate you, you towering mound of corrupted slime. Your every utterance is like the slithering hiss of a fat maggot in the putrid guts of a deomposing rat; your face is fouler than the unwiped inner ring of Satan's rectum."

Life on Jupiter.

Welcome to my World

16 April, 2009

And I Said Shut Up! xD

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My Top Ten Favourite Quotes from Confucius :

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Vegetarian Since 19th May 2008